Insight

The Relationship Isn’t about You

We actively participate with the client. As counselors, we shape, mold, and contour the case—but we don’t create facts.

Boardroom with three attorneys sitting at a table in suits
DK

David B. Kempston

December 6, 2017 02:08 PM

A good starting point for providing great customer service to your clients is understanding the relationship isn’t about you. As lawyers, we’re important. As professionals, we possess technical skills and a high level of knowledge about our area of practice. Yet, we aren’t the focus of the relationship—the client is.

Several years ago, I misdirected this focus in the courtroom. It was the first of three hearings on the same file against a seasoned litigator and things were getting acrimonious. During cross‐ exam, the opposing attorney battered my client with a series of questions suggesting he blocked his employer’s efforts to return him to work. My client disputed this claim.

To counter the implication, I leaned forward in my chair to retrieve a letter from the file that I intended to use on redirect of my client. I leaned too far and lost my balance. I attempted to catch myself, but only worsened the situation, ultimately launching myself out of the chair and landing on my backside with my feet in the air. I stared helplessly up at the judge. The questioning stopped. The judge peered down over the edge of the bench and asked, “Are you alright, Mr. Kempston? Anything injured?” Chagrined, I responded that only my dignity had been injured. The judge, in turn, promptly retorted, “Dignity isn’t compensable under the Minnesota workers’ compensation law.” This observation generated a few chuckles.

I brushed myself off and sat back in my chair. We resumed the hearing. The next day, however, I was back at court for another matter. I ran into a different judge in the hallway, who grinned slyly and stated, “I heard you’ve taken to pratfalls in order to win your cases.” How embarrassing. Apparently the escapade made the judicial rounds. To this day, a certain judge still occasionally asks if I bring a seatbelt when I’m in the courtroom.

Humor aside, hitting the ejection button on my seat didn’t advance the case. On the floor, I became the central attraction. Instead of focusing on the client’s story, the judge locked in on me. As the focal point, I distracted attention from my client’s presentation. Accidental—but not helpful.

Other times, a lawyer intentionally usurps a client. The attorney ego often drives this eclipse of the client. Lawyers do like attention. We tend to think much of ourselves.

My sister would say I occasionally suffer from “lawyer‐itis.” This condition results from an overinflated sense of my own importance—sharpened by law school. To remedy the malady, my sister will hold up her left fist, representing me, and hold up her right fist, representing the world. She then slowly rotates the world around me—all the while shaking her head and saying “not.” It’s good to have truth‐tellers in your life.


This demonstration provides a good reminder. Just as the world doesn’t revolve around me, the lawyer isn’t the center of the client’s universe. The attorney‐client relationship doesn’t exist to serve the attorney; rather, it’s the other way around. Practitioners often confuse this order.

To keep the proper order in mind, focus on the nature of the task. I find it helpful to describe my role to clients as that of a glorified tour guide. By this, I mean my job as their lawyer consists of two main functions:

to guide them through a complicated system; and to tell their story—whether to an expert witness, a mediator, or the fact‐finder.

I’m not implying that as a tour guide, the lawyer is merely along for the ride. (All analogies break down if you push them too far.) Of course not.

We actively participate with the client. As counselors, we shape, mold, and contour the case—but we don’t create facts.

Over the years, I learned clients’ cases are better presented in court, when I get out of the way. If the attorney ego is less involved, clients receive better representation. While there is a place for theatrics, humor, or hyperbole in the presentation of a case, the best lawyers leave the smallest footprints. This approach focuses attention where it belongs—on the client’s story.

As a prophetic voice confessed about one who was greater, “He must become more, I must become less.” Lawyers are wise to heed this admonition. We aren’t the hub of the relationship.

-------------------------

David Kempston has spent over 25 years as a litigator, primarily handling workers’ compensation claims. He has been recognized by Super Lawyers every year since 2000. He frequently lectures on the MN Workers’ Compensation Statute and is a co-contributing author to a chapter in the MN Worker’s Compensation Deskbook (Chapter 7). He has also written a book, published through Amazon in 2017, entitled That’s Why They Call it Practicing Law.

Related Articles

UnitedHealth's Twin Legal Storms


by Bryan Driscoll

ERISA failures and shareholder fallout in the wake of a CEO’s death.

United healthcare legal storm ceo murder headline

Supreme Court Opens New Door for Personal Injury Claims Under RICO


by Bryan Driscoll

The litigation landscape is rapidly shifting

Personal injury RICO claims marijuana hed

The Litigation Finance Mass Tort Gold Rush


by Justin Smulison

Third-party litigation funding is transforming mass torts, propelling the high-risk area into a multi-billion-dollar industry

Gold coins with data chart backdrop

IN PARTNERSHIP

Trial Lawyers Fight to Protect Individuals from Abuse


by Esquire Bank

With Esquire Bank's financial support, Elise Sanguinetti was able to challenge and end the Forced Arbitration Act. Her legislation continues to help other trial lawyers attain justice for abuse survivors.

Trial attorney, Elise R. Sanguinetti shapes laws such as the Ending Forced Arbitration Act

Combating Nuclear Verdicts: Empirically Supported Strategies to Deflate the Effects of Anchoring Bias


by Sloan L. Abernathy

Sometimes a verdict can be the difference between amicability and nuclear level developments. But what is anchoring bias and how can strategy combat this?

Lawyer speaking in courtroom with crowd and judge in the foreground

Protecting Small Business Owners: Trial Experts Connick Law LLC Notoriously Successful with Fire Litigation


by Justin Smulison

When small business owners become the target of insurance companies in fire-related lawsuits, hiring a firm with a reputation for understanding the science of fire suppression trials can save their livelihoods.

Gold Indoor Sprinkler Heads on Red Background

Will Recent Boeing Settlements Create Tailwinds In Corporate Law?


by Justin Smulison

Prominent litigation against Boeing is setting a precedent of accountability, professionalism and commitment among company boards as well as ushering ESG further into the courtroom to help monitor and prevent safety issues.

Boeing plane tilts upright overlayed a group of people in the control room

Colorado's Best Lawyers 2022


by Best Lawyers

Our 2022 Colorado's Best Lawyers publication features top-ranked legal talent in Boulder, Denver and Western Colorado.

Colorado's Best Lawyers 2022 Cover photo

Look for the Zoom Label


by Matthew C. Lonergan and Anne R. Yuengert

Will the virtual platforms that got such a boost during the pandemic replace how you interact with your employees, unions, and lawyers?

COVID-19 Zoom trial call

Busting a Trust


by Joseph Marrs

The rules governing trusts and asset distribution are often much more flexible than many might assume. Here’s a primer.

Attorney looking over trust and estate papers

The Next Chapter


by Patrick M. Shelby

Among its uncountable other disruptions, the pandemic upended U.S. bankruptcy procedures. Congressional relief, legislative changes, amended legal provisions: What lies ahead for those looking to file?

Economic technology lines Infront of a black screen

Phoning It In


by Crystal S. Wildeman, Ashley C. Pack and Alyson M. St. Pierre

It’s not easy for employers to weigh requests from employees to work from afar, even in the wake of the pandemic. Considerations include COVID-19, vaccinations, the Americans with Disabilities Act and the nature of the job itself.

Remote worker stretches in the morning

Compelled to Compete


by Ashish Mahendru

Courts and legislatures—and now the White House—are taking an increasingly dim view of noncompete employment agreements, a development the pandemic has quickened. What can employers do to protect their confidential information?

A silhouette of a man thinking with another man walking up the steps

Meeting Halfway


by Julia B. Meister

To resolve family and business disputes including wills, trusts, estates and more, mediation is often a more effective, gentler and cheaper option than litigation.

Two women sit down to discuss mediation

IN PARTNERSHIP

Look Out Below


by Mary Jo Larson

Employee 401(k) and other pension plans that include company stock can be a financial minefield. What’s a responsible fiduciary to do to lessen the risk of a plummeting share price—and the risk of a subsequent “stock-drop” lawsuit from aggrieved workers?

People walking in a building with multiple different train numbers

Family Law – Sometimes All in the Family


by Justin Smulison

Led by a father-and-son team of Family Law lawyers and trial advocates, with the support and assistance of family members, Blevans & Blevans, LLP continues its tradition of excellence serving the Northern California Bay Area in 2020 and beyond.

Robert and Brandon Blevans recognized by The Best Lawyers of America© for family law

Trending Articles

2026 Best Lawyers Awards: Recognizing Legal Talent Across the United States


by Jamilla Tabbara

The 2026 editions highlight the top 5% of U.S. attorneys, showcase emerging practice areas and reveal trends shaping the nation’s legal profession.

Map of the United States represented in The Best Lawyers in America 2026 awards

Gun Rights for Convicted Felons? The DOJ Says It's Time.


by Bryan Driscoll

It's more than an administrative reopening of a long-dormant issue; it's a test of how the law reconciles the right to bear arms with protecting the public.

Firearms application behind jail bars

2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Canada: Marking 20 Years of Excellence


by Jamilla Tabbara

Honoring Canada’s most respected lawyers and spotlighting the next generation shaping the future of law.

Shining Canadian map marking the 2026 Best Lawyers awards coverage

Revealing the 2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Germany, France, Switzerland and Austria


by Jamilla Tabbara

These honors underscore the reach of the Best Lawyers network and its focus on top legal talent.

map of Germany, France, Switzerland and Austria

Best Lawyers 2026: Discover the Honorees in Brazil, Mexico, Portugal, South Africa and Spain


by Jamilla Tabbara

A growing international network of recognized legal professionals.

Map highlighting the 2026 Best Lawyers honorees across Brazil, Mexico, Portugal, South Africa and Sp

How to Sue for Defamation: Costs, Process and What to Expect


by Bryan Driscoll

Learn the legal standards, costs and steps involved when you sue for defamation, including the difference between libel and slander.

Group of people holding papers with speech bubbles above them

Build Your Legal Practice with Effective Online Networking


by Jamilla Tabbara

How thoughtful online networking supports sustained legal practice growth.

Abstract web of connected figures symbolizing online networking among legal professionals

Algorithmic Exclusion


by Bryan Driscoll

The Workday lawsuit and the future of AI in hiring.

Workday Lawsuit and the Future of AI in Hiring headline

Blogging for Law Firms: Turning Content into Client Connections


by Jamilla Tabbara

How law firms use blogs to earn trust and win clients.

Lawyer typing blog content on laptop in office

Reddit’s Lawsuit Could Change How Much AI Knows About You


by Justin Smulison

Big AI is battling for its future—your data’s at stake.

Reddit Anthropic Lawsuit headline

How to Choose a Good Lawyer: Tips, Traits and Questions to Ask


by Laurie Villanueva

A Practical Guide for Your First-Time Hiring a Lawyer

Three professional lawyers walking together and discussing work

The 2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Chile, Colombia and Puerto Rico


by Jamilla Tabbara

The region’s most highly regarded lawyers.

Map highlighting Chile, Colombia and Puerto Rico for the 2026 Best Lawyers Awards

Common-Law Marriage in Indiana: Are You Legally Protected?


by Laurie Villanueva

Understanding cohabitation rights and common-law marriage recognition in Indiana.

Married Indiana couple in their home

Why Jack Dorsey and Elon Musk Want to 'Delete All IP Law'


by Bryan Driscoll

This Isn’t Just a Debate Over How to Pay Creators. It’s a Direct Challenge to Legal Infrastructure.

Elon Musk and Jack Dorsey standing together Infront of the X logo

AI Tools for Lawyers: How Smithy AI Solves Key Challenges


by Jamilla Tabbara

Understand the features and benefits within the Best Lawyers Digital Marketing Platform.

Legal professional editing profile content with Smithy AI

Alimony Explained: Who Qualifies, How It Works and What to Expect


by Bryan Driscoll

A practical guide to understanding alimony, from eligibility to enforcement, for anyone navigating divorce

two figures standing on stacks of coins