Insight

The Consequences of Being in Denial About a Loved One’s Deteriorating Condition

The Consequences of Being in Denial About a Loved One’s Deteriorating Condition

Anthony J. Enea

Anthony J. Enea

August 12, 2021 01:52 PM

Having practiced elder law for almost 35 years I have witnessed first-hand family members downplaying the severity of their elderly mother, father, grandparents, or loved one’s diminishing physical and mental condition. The best example I can give is when I ask a family member to describe their loved one’s physical condition and whether they are having any difficulties standing and/or walking, the most common response received is that they are “ok.” However, when I dig a little deeper and ask if they have fallen, I am surprised to hear that they have had several falls in recent months and years, with injuries.

A fall suffered by a senior often results in a broken hip and/or femur. A significant and serious injury that often requires surgery and resulting months of physical therapy. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that as one ages, varying degrees of diminished physical and mental capacity will ensue. Because of this, immediate family members who interact with the senior need to pay greater attention to their cognitive and physical condition. For example, are they able to remember recent events, particularly events that occurred in the last few days and/or weeks? All too often seniors can recall events from decades ago, but have difficulty remembering if someone visited them earlier in the day. If lapses of short term memory have become a common occurrence, the family should immediately seek to have their loved one see a neurologist to be evaluated. If the neurologist makes a determination that this is evidence of dementia (whether it be senile dementia, Alzheimer’s or Lewy Body) this should be the alarm bell to commence the process of investigating the elder law and long-term care planning options that are available. Delays in starting this process can often result in detrimental financial and health care consequences.

For example, I am most confident that there are hundreds, if not thousands of seniors in Westchester and Putnam whom have failed to avail themselves of the benefits of the Medicaid long term health care program even though they are both financially and physically eligible for the program. In many instances seniors are too proud and in denial about the reality that they need help with the activities of daily living (walking, dressing, feeding, bathing and toileting) and their children are often hesitant to inform their parents of their true beliefs as to the reality of their condition.

The longer one who has physical incapacities waits to obtain the necessary home care, the greater the risk of falling and suffering a serious injury which often expedites their physical and mental decline. Additionally, from a financial perspective, delays in implementing a Medicaid asset protection and long-term care plan will place a greater percentage of one’s life savings at risk and delay one’s potential eligibility for either Medicaid nursing home and/or Medicaid home care.

While no official directive or confirmation from the New York State Department of Health has been issued, it is likely that on January 1, 2022, the thirty (30) month look back period for Medicaid home care will be finally made effective. The implementation of said lookback period has been postponed since October 1, 2020, due to protections enacted under the Families First Cares Act, which prohibits states from restricting eligibility until the quarter following the end of the Public Health Emergency (PHE). The sixty (60) month look back period for nursing home Medicaid has remained in effect in spite of the pandemic.

Thus, up until January 1, 2022, one can make an uncompensated transfer of assets (gifts) to loved one’s and/or a Medicaid asset protection trust, and if they apply for Medicaid home care before January 1, 2022, (and are financially eligible for Medicaid and require assistance with the activities of daily living), they will not be subjected to the thirty (30) month look back and its subsequent disqualification from eligibility. The failure to take advantage of the absence of a look back period for Medicaid home care by someone needing care who has postponed the decision to get the care can be very expensive. The average cost of home care is between $6000 to $10,000 per month depending on the number of hours needed.

This best exemplifies that delays in taking action to protect one’s assets and availing oneself of the benefits of the Medicaid program can be costly.

For decades I have advocated that seniors must be proactive when it comes to protecting their life savings from the cost of long term care. Being proactive in the next five (5) months is imperative if one needs assistance with the activities of daily living.

Trending Articles

How to Sue for Defamation: Costs, Process and What to Expect


by Bryan Driscoll

Learn the legal standards, costs and steps involved when you sue for defamation, including the difference between libel and slander.

Group of people holding papers with speech bubbles above them

2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Canada: Marking 20 Years of Excellence


by Jamilla Tabbara

Honoring Canada’s most respected lawyers and spotlighting the next generation shaping the future of law.

Shining Canadian map marking the 2026 Best Lawyers awards coverage

The Family Law Loophole That Lets Sex Offenders Parent Kids


by Bryan Driscoll

Is the state's surrogacy framework putting children at risk?

family law surrogacy adoption headline

Best Lawyers 2026: Discover the Honorees in Brazil, Mexico, Portugal, South Africa and Spain


by Jamilla Tabbara

A growing international network of recognized legal professionals.

Map highlighting the 2026 Best Lawyers honorees across Brazil, Mexico, Portugal, South Africa and Sp

Algorithmic Exclusion


by Bryan Driscoll

The Workday lawsuit and the future of AI in hiring.

Workday Lawsuit and the Future of AI in Hiring headline

Unenforceable HOA Rules: What Homeowners Can Do About Illegal HOA Actions


by Bryan Driscoll

Not every HOA rule is legal. Learn how to recognize and fight unenforceable HOA rules that overstep the law.

Wooden model houses connected together representing homeowners associations

Holiday Pay Explained: Federal Rules and Employer Policies


by Bryan Driscoll

Understand how paid holidays work, when employers must follow their policies and when legal guidance may be necessary.

Stack of money wrapped in a festive bow, symbolizing holiday pay

Reddit’s Lawsuit Could Change How Much AI Knows About You


by Justin Smulison

Big AI is battling for its future—your data’s at stake.

Reddit Anthropic Lawsuit headline

US Tariff Uncertainty Throws Canada Into Legal Purgatory


by Bryan Driscoll

The message is clear: There is no returning to pre-2025 normalcy.

US Tariff Uncertainty Throws Canada Into Legal Purgatory headline

The 2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Chile, Colombia and Puerto Rico


by Jamilla Tabbara

The region’s most highly regarded lawyers.

Map highlighting Chile, Colombia and Puerto Rico for the 2026 Best Lawyers Awards

UnitedHealth's Twin Legal Storms


by Bryan Driscoll

ERISA failures and shareholder fallout in the wake of a CEO’s death.

United healthcare legal storm ceo murder headline

Florida Rewrites the Rules on Housing


by Laurie Villanueva

Whether locals like it or not.

Florida Rewrites the Rules on Housing headline

Alimony Explained: Who Qualifies, How It Works and What to Expect


by Bryan Driscoll

A practical guide to understanding alimony, from eligibility to enforcement, for anyone navigating divorce

two figures standing on stacks of coins

Can a Green Card Be Revoked?


by Bryan Driscoll

Revocation requires a legal basis, notice and the chance to respond before status can be taken away.

Close-up of a U.S. Permanent Resident Card showing the text 'PERMANENT RESIDENT'

Why Skechers' $9.4B Private Equity Buyout Sparked Investor Revolt


by Laurie Villanueva

Shareholder anger, a lack of transparency and a 'surprising' valuation.

Skechers shareholder lawsuit headline

New Texas Family Laws Transform Navigating Divorce, Custody


by Bryan Driscoll

Reforms are sweeping, philosophically distinct and designed to change the way families operate.

definition of family headline