Insight

Five Signs Your Ex May Be A Narcissist

A relationship with a narcissist involves a toxic cycle of emotional abuse and destruction.

Natalie L. Mathews

Natalie L. Mathews

September 20, 2023 02:43 PM

A relationship with a narcissist involves a toxic cycle of emotional abuse and destruction. It is not uncommon for a victim to be entirely unaware of the negative toll a narcissist takes on their mental health and self-esteem until the damage is already done. While certainly not all individuals displaying these traits are diagnosable with a personality disorder, the underlying mental health concerns play a material role in a relationship and family dynamics. Understanding warning signs may help you take action before emotional and psychological abuse continues to significantly impact you and your children.

Below are five signs you may be or were in a dysfunctional relationship with an individual who exhibits the traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NDP):

  1. Hypersensitivity to Criticism: While a narcissist is quick to point out flaws in their partner, they are incapable of self-reflection on their own inappropriate behaviors. This characteristic goes beyond an inflated ego; rather, a narcissist won’t engage in self-betterment because they truly believe there is nothing they need to change about themselves. Beware of finding yourself trapped in this vicious cycle of blame and deflection. With a narcissist, you will always be the problem.
  2. Lack of Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and process how others are feeling. Most individuals experience varying levels of empathy naturally and intuitively. Narcissists, on the other hand, generally lack the ability to offer understanding and cannot relate to the emotions of others. This often manifests itself in the likelihood that a narcissist will not feel guilt or show remorse for their own upsetting actions.
  3. Manipulation and Charm: Narcissists are experts at doing and saying things for the sole purpose of furthering their own selfish agendas. The onset of a relationship with a narcissist may feel “too good to be true” as the narcissist will display all the qualities of a perfect and attentive mate. Typically, once a narcissist has achieved their goal, they quickly become bored and disinterested in their partner’s life. A person with NPD may display personality changes without warning and even go to lengths such as emotional blackmail to pursue their self-serving interests.
  4. Inflated Sense of Importance: Narcissists often work under a grandiose feeling of self-importance. This characteristic might manifest itself in a variety of ways, including a sense of self-entitlement (“the laws don’t apply to me”), a belief that others are envious of their “successes,” and a preoccupation with fantasies such as genius, idyllic beauty, or unlimited success. This characteristic is markedly distinguishable from an individual who is self-confident or vain. In reality, the narcissist has deep-seated insecurities necessitating the need for excessive praise and compliments.
  5. Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a hallmark trait of NPD and a very common tool used by narcissists to distort another’s sense of self. Gaslighting causes a partner to second-guess themselves, absorb blame where none exists, and lose their identity altogether. This method of gaining superiority may come in the form of truth spinning, brainwashing, and false accusations. The gaslighting tactic, if successful, results in the victim questioning their own sanity and reality.

Narcissists can be covert and often present as well-adjusted individuals. If you believe you are in a relationship with a narcissist, get out – and don’t look back. A person who has an intimate relationship with a narcissist may experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, feelings of worthlessness, and/or post-traumatic stress syndrome. If you believe your ex-partner is a narcissist, or displays the traits of a narcissist, it is important to invest in personal healing with a behavioral health professional to process the abuse and understand the warning signs of NPD. You may also wish to consult a family lawyer experienced in dealing with mental health disorders to help you process your options for separation or dissolution.

Trending Articles

Introducing the 2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Australia, Japan, New Zealand and Singapore


by Jennifer Verta

This year’s awards reflect the strength of the Best Lawyers network and its role in elevating legal talent worldwide.

2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Australia, Japan, New Zealand and Singapore

Revealing the 2026 Best Lawyers Awards in Germany, France, Switzerland and Austria


by Jamilla Tabbara

These honors underscore the reach of the Best Lawyers network and its focus on top legal talent.

map of Germany, France, Switzerland and Austria

Effective Communication: A Conversation with Jefferson Fisher


by Jamilla Tabbara

The power of effective communication beyond the law.

 Image of Jefferson Fisher and Phillip Greer engaged in a conversation about effective communication

The 2025 Legal Outlook Survey Results Are In


by Jennifer Verta

Discover what Best Lawyers honorees see ahead for the legal industry.

Person standing at a crossroads with multiple intersecting paths and a signpost.

The Best Lawyers Network: Global Recognition with Long-term Value


by Jamilla Tabbara

Learn how Best Lawyers' peer-review process helps recognized lawyers attract more clients and referral opportunities.

Lawyers networking

Jefferson Fisher: The Secrets to Influential Legal Marketing


by Jennifer Verta

How lawyers can apply Jefferson Fisher’s communication and marketing strategies to build trust, attract clients and grow their practice.

Portrait of Jefferson Fisher a legal marketing expert

Is Your Law Firm’s Website Driving Clients Away?


by Jamilla Tabbara

Identify key website issues that may be affecting client engagement and retention.

Phone displaying 'This site cannot be reached' message

A Guide to Workers' Compensation Law for 2025 and Beyond


by Bryan Driscoll

A woman with a laptop screen reflected in her glasses

Best Lawyers Launches CMO Advisory Board


by Jamilla Tabbara

Strategic counsel from legal marketing’s most experienced voices.

Group photo of Best Lawyers CMO Advisory Board members

Common Law Firm Landing Page Problems to Address


by Jamilla Tabbara

Identify key issues on law firm landing pages to improve client engagement and conversion.

Laptop showing law firm landing page analytics

Changes in California Employment Law for 2025


by Laurie Villanueva

What employers need to know to ensure compliance in the coming year and beyond

A pair of hands holding a checklist featuring a generic profile picture and the state of California

New Employment Law Recognizes Extraordinary Stress Is Everyday Reality for NY Lawyers


by Bryan Driscoll

A stressed woman has her head resting on her hands above a laptop

Turn Visitors into Clients with Law Firm Website SEO That Converts


by Jamilla Tabbara

Learn how to create high-converting law firm landing pages that drive client engagement and lead generation.

Laptop screen displaying website tools to improve client conversion rates

Medical Malpractice Reform Trends in Texas, Utah, Georgia and SC


by Bryan Driscoll

A fresh wave of medical malpractice reform is reshaping the law.

Medical Malpractice Reform Trends hed

Best Lawyers Introduces Smithy AI


by Jamilla Tabbara

Transforming legal content creation for attorneys and firms.

Start using Smithy AI, a content tool by Best Lawyers

SEO for Law Firms: Overcoming Common Challenges


by Jamilla Tabbara

Tackle common SEO challenges and take the next step with our guide, How to Make Your Law Firm Easier to Find Online.

Graphic image of a phone displaying SEO rankings, with positions 1, 2 and 3 on the screen