It might start with a venting post after a tough court hearing, a vacation photo meant to lift your spirits, or even a lighthearted meme about exes. But in the context of a family law case, these seemingly harmless social media updates can take on a life of their own—and not in a good way. Courts increasingly regard social media as fair game for scrutiny, and what you post online can end up reshaping the outcome of your case.
In the realm of social media and divorce, appearances matter. Judges, opposing counsel, and sometimes even custody evaluators may review your online presence to assess your credibility, your parenting style, and your financial transparency. And in a social media custody case, even a single post can derail months of legal strategy.
This blog will explore the types of social media content most likely to cause damage, how that content is used in court, and how to avoid these missteps while your case is pending.
The Legal Weight of a Post
Family law and social media evidence now go hand in hand. A Facebook photo can be used to dispute income claims. A tweet might be presented as evidence of parental alienation. A deleted Instagram story? Recoverable in many cases (and potentially damaging).
Judges aren’t necessarily scouring your feed themselves, but opposing counsel or party often is. Recall that you and your ex are now legal adversaries. Ergo, screenshots, metadata, and public comments can all be introduced in court as admissible evidence. This kind of material is often used to challenge your credibility or to establish a narrative about your lifestyle and priorities, especially where children or finances are concerned.
What Not to Post: The Greatest Hits of Bad Ideas
The following categories represent some of the most common—and most damaging—kinds of posts seen during ongoing divorce or custody litigation. Some are hypothetical, some are drawn from anonymized real-world scenarios, and all are worth avoiding.
1. ‘Look at My New Life!’ Posts
Imagine a parent claiming financial hardship, yet their Instagram is filled with posts from a lavish trip to Cancun, complete with cocktails and a new designer handbag. Even if the trip was gifted or deeply discounted, the optics are poor. Opposing counsel may argue this undermines their credibility, particularly in support disputes.
Once, I was defending a case on a modification. I represented Mom. Dad filed to lower his child support. He claimed to be unemployed. We pulled his LinkedIn profile showing he had a graduate and law degree. His Instagram posts revealed he recently enhanced his sports cars and regularly dined out at fine establishments. Finally, we got photos of him getting engaged, buying his fiancé a nice ring, and taking a trip to Europe. Needless to say, his requested relief was denied.
2. Partying, Drinking, and ‘Adult Fun’
Posting about wild nights out, heavy drinking, or any drug use (legal or otherwise) can raise concerns about judgment, especially in a social media custody case. Even joking about hangovers or irresponsible behavior can be used to question whether you are providing a stable environment for your child. If a case is pending, you are living life in a fishbowl, and therefore a party is expected to be on their best behavior. These types of posts might make a judge think “wow, this is as responsible as this person is ever going to get.”
It’s not just what’s in your hand; it’s what’s in the background. An innocent selfie at a friend’s house can show open containers, drug paraphernalia, or other adults behaving questionably.
3. Trash-Talking Your Ex
Venting about your former spouse online may feel cathartic, but in a family court setting, it can backfire dramatically. Judges expect both parents to foster a healthy co-parenting relationship whenever possible. Posts that demean the other parent can be construed as parental alienation or an unwillingness to cooperate.
Even if your account is private, shared posts or mutual friends can expose you. Courts have taken screenshots of posts as evidence of attempts to manipulate or turn a child against the other parent.
4. Involving Your Children
Sharing emotional updates about your children or photos of them during a heated dispute can be interpreted as putting your kids in the middle of the conflict. Courts frown on parents who expose children to litigation details—even indirectly—through social media.
Be especially cautious of posts that imply your child “wants to live with you” or “hates going back” to the other parent’s house. These statements can be seen as coaching or manipulative.
5. Legal Commentary or Court Updates
Posting about your case—especially any updates from hearings or allegations against your ex—can look like an attempt to try your case in the court of public opinion. It may also violate court orders or confidentiality agreements.
Best Practices for Social Media Use During Your Case
You don’t have to go completely offline, but you do need to think carefully before sharing anything publicly—or even privately. Here are key guidelines to follow:
- Pause Before Posting: Ask yourself how this content would appear if shown in a courtroom or projected on a screen for a judge or jury to see. If it could be misunderstood or paint you in a bad light, don’t post it.
- Tighten Your Privacy Settings: Adjust your account visibility and review who can see your posts. But remember, even private content can be shared by others or subpoenaed.
- Don’t Delete Without Legal Advice: Deleting posts after legal proceedings have started may be seen as destruction of evidence. Talk to your attorney before removing anything.
- Keep Kids Off the Feed: Even if your child isn’t the focus of a post, avoid involving them in online content during a dispute. Courts want to see that you’re protecting your child’s emotional wellbeing.
- Avoid Sharing Legal Opinions: Don’t post frustrations about the judge, court staff, or your ex’s lawyer. It may undermine your image of maturity and composure in front of the court.
The Bottom Line
The connection between social media and divorce is more powerful—and more dangerous—than many realize. Your online behavior can speak volumes in a family law and social media evidence review, potentially influencing how a judge perceives your parenting, your honesty, and your priorities.
Before hitting “post,” consider this: Is this momentary expression worth potentially jeopardizing your legal outcome? If you’re in the midst of a custody dispute, asset division, or any other family law matter, the safest choice is to treat social media like a public courtroom. Every post is a potential exhibit.
Best practice is to go dark entirely. There is zero gain and only potential loss stemming from posting on social media. If for whatever reason that isn’t possible, keep anything posted positive, avoid “checking in” at any place, and ask yourself these questions: What will the Court think if they see this; and what will my lawyer say if s/he sees this?
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At Goranson Bain Ausley, we guide clients through every facet of family law with clarity and foresight, including how to navigate the digital dimension. If you're concerned about how your online presence may affect your case, or if you're already facing issues related to social media custody case dynamics, we're here to provide clear, trusted legal advice.
