Insight

The Calm Person Wins

Neal H. Bookspan

Written by Neal H. Bookspan

Published: April 2, 2025

The calm person wins – is a truth I’ve observed during my professional career. When emotions run hot and tensions rise, if you maintain your composure, you will inevitably gain the upper hand. You also will make better decisions, see opportunities others miss, and command respect by maintaining your demeanor.

I witnessed this principle a few months ago during heated settlement discussions with opposing counsel. While opposing counsel grew increasingly agitated and combative during each call, I did my best to remain calm. I didn’t react to provocations or raise my voice. And yes, it was difficult when speaking with someone who had completely lost their cool. In the end I kept restating my client’s position and let the other attorney exhaust himself emotionally. This ultimately resulted in a reasonable settlement for my client that was far different and better than what the opposing counsel yelled at me during our first settlement call.

The advantage you take by remaining calm extends far beyond the legal work. In boardrooms, investment meetings, and other crucial business negotiations, if you maintain your emotional equilibrium, you will hold a distinct edge. It will allow you to think clearly while others become clouded by anger or fear. You can strategize effectively while others act on impulse. You will be able to earn the confidence of others by not reacting emotionally.

I find that the beauty of cultivating calmness is that it compounds over time. Each situation you navigate with composure builds your reputation and strengthens your ability to stay centered in challenging situations in the future. People will begin to expect and respect your measured approach. Those who have dealt with you before will think twice before trying to provoke you because they know it won’t work. In that way, your calmness becomes both shield and sword by protecting you from others’ emotional outbursts while giving you the clarity to advance your objectives.

Know it isn’t easy to remain calm in the face of all situations. Cultivating genuine calmness requires dedicated practice. It means choosing your response rather than reacting instinctively. It means breathing deeply when you feel tension rising. It means maintaining perspective even when others lose theirs. But the investment pays extraordinary dividends because in business and in life, the calm person wins.

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