Almost all American adults, about 98%, own a cellphone and 91% own a smartphone. About half of children under age eight now have their own mobile device, including smartphones and tablets.
With phones embedded in daily family life, digital communications routinely surface in custody and divorce litigation. What parents and children do on their devices can be preserved, examined and weighed by courts when making custody decisions.
The following guidelines are intended to help parents avoid common cellphone mistakes that can complicate custody or divorce proceedings.
- Digital communications can significantly impact custody and divorce cases, with courts examining what parents and children do on their devices.
- Follow ten smartphone safety rules to avoid common mistakes in custody disputes, such as thinking carefully before texting and respecting children's device boundaries.
- Learn the importance of preserving critical evidence and understanding the limitations of deleting digital content.
- Protect your case and maintain credibility by being mindful of how smartphones can affect legal outcomes. Read the full article for detailed guidance.
Smartphone Safety Rules for Parents in Custody Cases
Here are ten essential rules to help parents navigate smartphone use safely in custody and divorce cases:
1. Think before you text
Exercise restraint before sending messages to your co-parent. If you wouldn't want a judge reading your text aloud in court, don't send it. Hostile messages damage your standing and custody position.
2. Establish agreements before purchasing children's devices
Before buying a child a smartphone, reach an agreement with your co-parent about usage rules and boundaries. Document these in your parenting plan. If you can't agree, use shared devices or landlines for parent-child communication.
3. Avoid using your phone as an evidence collection tool
Resist photographing every minor injury when your child returns from the other parent's care. For serious injuries, seek proper medical documentation through healthcare providers. These records carry far more weight than smartphone photos.
4. Exercise discretion in your personal communications
Call logs and text timestamps are easily obtainable. Frequent late-night communications with a "friend" during your marriage can suggest inappropriate relationships. Every call and text leaves a digital footprint.
5. Understand that "deleted" doesn't mean "gone"
Deleting texts or photos doesn't permanently remove them. Digital forensic experts can recover deleted content. Courts may view deletion attempts as obstruction. Preserve important communications as part of your legal obligation during custody proceedings.
6. Preserve evidence of concerning behavior
Save abusive texts, threatening voicemails or inappropriate communications from your co-parent. Most service providers don't retain text message content. Preservation is your responsibility.
7. Respect your child's device boundaries
When your child arrives with a smartphone from the other parent, avoid tampering with, confiscating or damaging it. Such actions lead to expensive legal disputes and damage your credibility. Address legitimate concerns through direct communication with your co-parent or, when legal guidance is needed, with a qualified family law attorney.
8. Keep children out of technology disputes
Never use your child as a messenger regarding smartphone rules or disputes. These conversations should occur directly between co-parents or through attorneys. Involving children in adult conflicts places them in loyalty binds and can constitute emotional harm.
9. Choose age-appropriate devices and plans
Consider whether a basic phone might better serve your communication goals than a full-featured smartphone. Numerous devices enable parent-child communication without unrestricted internet access. Research family-friendly carriers with built-in safety features.
10. Respect privacy during parent-child communications
If you've agreed to allow your child a cellphone for contacting the other parent, respect their privacy during conversations. Demanding speakerphone or hovering during calls undermines the parent-child relationship and appears to be controlling.
Safeguard Your Case in the Digital Age
By understanding how your device and your child’s device can be reviewed in court and exercising caution with communications, parents can protect their credibility and help ensure decisions serve their children’s best interests.
For guidance on pursuing custody matters, including strategies for obtaining full custody of a child, consult a trusted attorney.
For insight into representation focused on custody, divorce and related family law issues, view William F. “Bill” Neal’s profile.
