Insight

A Warm Gift Is Better Than a Cold One

A tangible gift now beats a cold bequest later — preserving meaning and avoiding disputes.

Lauren C. Enea

Written by Lauren C. Enea

Published: August 13, 2025

A number of years ago, my client and I were discussing her wishes for the distribution of her tangible personal property items, such as clothes, jewelry, painting, silver collections, and the like. She told me that she planned to give most of these items away while she was alive because “a warm gift is better than a cold one!” This phrase resonated with me and is one that I often now use with my clients who wish to ensure that certain family members receive family heirlooms or specific personal property items. The sentiment is not only warm but logical as well.

To be clear, I am in no way recommending that you give away all items of tangible personal property now, especially those you use, enjoy, or plan to use in the future. However, if there are family valuables or objects you already know you want certain people to have, such as grandparents’ jewelry, fine china, furniture, or even paintings, I recommend gifting these items during your lifetime.

Why is this a good idea? Here are a few reasons:

  1. You will get to experience the enjoyment of giving the item to the receiver personally.
    Usually, a Last Will and Testament or Trust document will outline who should receive items of tangible personal property after your death. This document might leave everything to one person or to a class of people, or it might earmark certain items to be given to specific individuals, called “specific bequests.” The individual who is responsible for distributing these items after your death is the Executor named in the Last Will and Testament or the Trustee named in the Trust. Instead of leaving this task to your Executor or Trustee, personally gifting a family heirloom during your life may be much more meaningful for both you and the receiver of the item. This not only reduces the property that requires sorting and distributing after you pass away, but it also allows you to witness the joy the gift brings to your loved one’s face firsthand.
  2. Giving gifts of tangible personal property during life can avoid conflicts among family members after death.
    Frequently family members will argue over who should receive family heirlooms, especially when all items are left equally to multiple children. How do the kids decide who receives Nana’s beloved Christmas ornament collection or Poppy’s precious salt-and-pepper shakers? Splitting the contents of the family china cabinet among three people where no one receives a full set of plates doesn’t make much sense either!

    I once had a client who was the Trustee of his mother’s trust, which left all tangible personal property equally to him and his sister. He and his sister disagreed as to who should receive virtually every item of their mother’s tangible personal property, and thousands of dollars in legal fees were spent negotiating who would receive these items, some of which could not have cost more than a dollar! While I understand that sentimental value is worth much more than any dollar amount, clear instruction and communication as to who should have received specific items of tangible property upon the mother’s death or the mother giving certain items to the recipient during life could have avoided these conflicts and costs!

  3. Gifting during life avoids the potential expense of valuing and safeguarding the items of tangible personal property after your death.
    Depending on the items to be distributed, they might need to be safeguarded, mailed to the intended recipients, or kept in storage facilities until they can be distributed to the beneficiaries. These expenses usually will be paid by your estate, thereby reducing the residuary amount to be distributed to the beneficiaries. Furthermore, depending on the language in your estate planning documents, the expenses associated with storage and/or mailing of the items to the recipient can wind up being an expense the recipient needs to pay personally as well.
  4. Communication is easier during life!
    Many clients do not wish to share information contained in their estate planning documents while they are alive. They are considered private documents. That said, failing to communicate with the beneficiaries of your assets during your lifetime may allow them to have preconceived notions of what they will be receiving upon your death. For example, if you have always told your granddaughter that she can have your diamond engagement ring after you pass away, it would be imperative to let her know that you actually gave it to your grandson who was about to propose to his soon-to-be wife. While this may be a difficult conversation to have with your granddaughter, you will have the opportunity to explain your reasoning to her personally and to give her another item of sentimental value instead. It would be very hard (well, actually impossible) to rationalize this to your granddaughter after your death, and when she learns from someone else that the ring is no longer hers, she may direct her anger at your grandson (or her new sister-in-law)!

    What about items you are not ready to part with or still use? For these items, ensuring you have your estate planning documents in order and that those documents clearly indicate who is to receive any specific items of tangible personal property is crucial. I recommend that tangible personal property clauses in a Last Will and Testament or Trust be kept fairly simple, as it can become complicated and costly to list every item of property you own and who is to receive each one. For items that do not need to be expressly referenced in the Last Will and Testament or Trust, you may want to create an ancillary list of your tangible personal property and indicate which individual is to receive which item. While these ancillary lists are not legally binding, they will provide guidance to your Executor or Trustee, and they certainly help demonstrate your wishes.

As always with estate planning, communication is key!

Trending Articles

The Family Law Loophole That Lets Sex Offenders Parent Kids


by Bryan Driscoll

Is the state's surrogacy framework putting children at risk?

family law surrogacy adoption headline

Recognizing Legal Leaders: The 2027 Best Lawyers Awards in Australia, Japan and Singapore


by Jamilla Tabbara

Market drivers, diversity trends and the elite practitioners shaping the legal landscape.

Illustrated maps of Australia, Japan and Singapore displayed with their national flags, representing

Holiday Pay Explained: Federal Rules and Employer Policies


by Bryan Driscoll

Understand how paid holidays work, when employers must follow their policies and when legal guidance may be necessary.

Stack of money wrapped in a festive bow, symbolizing holiday pay

Can a Green Card Be Revoked?


by Bryan Driscoll

Revocation requires a legal basis, notice and the chance to respond before status can be taken away.

Close-up of a U.S. Permanent Resident Card showing the text 'PERMANENT RESIDENT'

New Texas Family Laws Transform Navigating Divorce, Custody


by Bryan Driscoll

Reforms are sweeping, philosophically distinct and designed to change the way families operate.

definition of family headline

How Far Back Can the IRS Audit You?


by Bryan Driscoll

Clear answers on IRS statutes of limitations, recordkeeping and what to do if you are under review.

Gloved hand holding a spread of one-hundred-dollar bills near an IRS tax document

US Tariff Uncertainty Throws Canada Into Legal Purgatory


by Bryan Driscoll

The message is clear: There is no returning to pre-2025 normalcy.

US Tariff Uncertainty Throws Canada Into Legal Purgatory headline

Can You File Bankruptcy on Credit Cards


by Bryan Driscoll

Understanding your options for relief from overwhelming debt.

Red credit card on point-of-sale terminal representing credit card debt

Musk v. Altman: The Lawyers Behind the Case


by Jamilla Tabbara

Meet the Trial Lawyers Shaping One of AI's Biggest Legal Disputes.

Portrait photos of Elon Musk and Sam Altman positioned in front of the OpenAI logo.

How AI Is Changing the Way Clients Find Lawyers


by Jamilla Tabbara

Best Lawyers CEO Phil Greer explains how AI-driven search tools are reshaping legal marketing and why credibility markers matter.

AI chat bubble icon with stars representing artificial intelligence transforming client-lawyer conne

Colorado’s 2026 Water Rights Battles


by Bryan Driscoll

A new era of conflict begins.

Colorado Water Rights 2026: A New Era of Conflict headline

When Is It Too Late to Stop Foreclosure?


by Bryan Driscoll

Understanding the foreclosure timeline, critical deadlines and the legal options that may still protect your home.

Miniature house model on orange background surrounded by thumbtacks representing foreclosure

Can You Go to Jail at an Arraignment?


by Bryan Driscoll

Understanding What Happens at Your First Court Appearance.

A heavy chain lying on the ground in the foreground with a blurred figure standing in the background

What’s the Difference Between DUI and DWI?


by Bryan Driscoll

Understanding the terminology and consequences of impaired driving charges.

Driver during nighttime police traffic stop with officer's flashlight shining through car window

Canadian Firms Explore AI, But Few Fully Embrace the Shift


by David L. Brown

BLF survey reveals caution despite momentum.

Canadian Firms Explore AI, But Few Fully Embrace the Shift headline

The Legal Teams Behind the Blake Lively–Justin Baldoni Settlement


by Grace Greer

A closer look at the legal teams and attorneys involved in the Blake Lively–Justin Baldoni litigation and its resolution.

Split-screen image of Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni